My basically perfect boyfriend has one flaw….
Cargo shorts are probably the worst fashion idea ever to come to fruition. And that’s saying a lot considering shoulder pads, gauchos, Ed Hardy, and puka shell necklaces. Cargos are one of the most heinous fashion crimes a man can commit. The only thing slightly worse is jorts, but let’s be real, no one under the age of thirty-five wears jorts.
But it holds all my snacks, babe.
No. I don’t care if it holds all your snacks! If they can’t all fit in the two pockets that come on normal shorts, you should probably just stop. This disgusting trend usually happens to men in their early years of life. For some reason, middle-class moms everywhere think it’s a great idea to send their little boys off to elementary school in khaki cargo shorts. To me, this is almost worse than making the decision to not have your American-born child circumcised. THIS ISN’T EUROPE! Nothing repels the female species faster than pockets on pockets on pockets. Like…BYE.
But with that thought in mind, I think I’ll be okay if my super hot boyfriend continues wearing them. It’s like sending him out into the world with a chastity belt – man edition. 😉
A night of acting like total hipsters with VIP passes. Yolo!
my grandma always said this