06.14.2017

6 Lessons I Learned Being 26

6 things

On Monday I’ll be 27! It doesn’t even seem possible that I can be this close to 30. Here’s what lessons really stuck with me this past year:

1. Love is Forever – This applies to so many different types of relationships. The most obvious for me: Worsham. Being married has just solidified even more what I already knew about him. He’s my ride-or-die BFF, my soul mate, and the best example of what true love really is. He’s shown me that easy love exists and that it’s the best kind. He’s so much more than what I prayed for, and I know that will never change.

This year is also the 10 year anniversary of my dad’s death. Even though it’s been so long since he was physically here, I still feel his presence all the time. He isn’t really gone, and neither is his love. As Sirius Black so eloquently said, “The ones who love us never really leave us, and you can always find them…in here.” Love transcends our perception of time and space.

This can apply to past relationships as well. Sometimes people feel weird admitting that, or believe that they should hate all of their exes, but I don’t feel that way anymore. It’s understandable to be angry after you have your heartbroken, but eventually you have to let it go. It’s much better to see that person with love instead and to appreciate the role they played in your life. No one is brought to us by accident. If you truly were in love with them once, the love doesn’t really go away; the nature of that love just changes.

2. Some Things are Worth the Stress - Yes, I’m talking about the wedding. When we first got engaged, I went back and forth with whether I wanted us to have a traditional wedding or just elope (Worsham always said he was fine with whatever I wanted). But I’m so glad we had the traditional “Cinderella” wedding I’d always dreamed about. Those 15 or so months of planning were definitely not fun (with the exception of cake tasting), however, even with all the unexpected mishaps, it was beyond wonderful. You can’t put a price on those memories. If you truly want that type of wedding, and can do it without ending up homeless, then you should go for it. The stress is only temporary.

3. People’s BS Says More about Them – I don’t know what it was about the end of 2016/early 2017, but so many people were shady AF. A couple of instances really did bother me until I remembered something that my mom and grandma have always said, which is basically that how people act toward you says more about them than it does about you. It can be easy to obsess about what you might have done to cause someone to be a douche, but at the end of the day, you can’t control anyone’s actions. If you decide something is not worth the drama or attention, then let it go and know that it’s their own issue to deal with. It probably stems from something they don’t even yet realize themselves.

4.  You Are Not What You Do For a Living – I don’t feel guilty about things very often, but when I do they’re almost always related to writing. I’ll feel guilty about not working on another book, not blogging more, or not using my degree in exactly the way I thought I would yet (I do write for a living, but it’s proposal writing for a government contractor). A lot of this guilt stems from how much emphasis our culture places on what someone does instead of who someone is. You are more than your job. You are more than your degree. Feeling guilty doesn’t change anything. I’ve found that in my case the sense of guilt I feel just makes me procrastinate that much more. I think it has something to do with being a Gemini too. Part of being a “twin” sign means you want to do everything all at once, so you end up doing nothing most of the time. I’m hoping 27 will be the year that I let go of the guilt and write purely for the joy of writing.

5. Marriage Isn’t Much Different From Dating – The first question people ask you after you’ve been married for a little while is usually “how’s married life?” My response is that it’s wonderful, but pretty much the same as it was before. Thankfully, our relationship has always been easy and wonderful from that very first date. Marriage doesn’t really change anything; it just amplifies what you already have a little bit. So be very intentional about who you marry (duh). I will say that there’s nothing hotter than seeing your man with a wedding ring on, though!

6. Comfort Zones Aren’t Always Comfortable – This is something I fully realized pretty recently. Usually people have this idea that comfort zones really are comfortable all the time, and oftentimes that isn’t the case. Whether it’s a job, relationship, or where you live, I’m starting to realize that staying in your comfort zone isn’t always the best or even the safest option. It might be “safe” now, but will it cause you pain later? Will you look back and wish you’d left your comfort zone? In my case, I always get in a mood when I come back from vacation and remember how much I don’t want to live in Oklahoma. I’m grateful for what my unplanned stay in my home state has brought me, and it is nice to be close to family, but living in the same state forever is not something I want and probably not something that’s good for my well-being. People say that you can be happy anywhere, and that’s probably true, but who’s to say you wouldn’t be a million times happier someplace else? I’m starting to view where I live the same way I used to view guys: be open to all possibilities. Luckily, Worsham is super supportive and open to leaving Oklahoma too. We’ll see where life takes us!

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Comments

  1. This is very helpful. Thanks babe for being so honest just to bring us these amazing insights xx

    Check out my new blog post about outfit & lip color pairing!

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